What is actually included in the concept of conflict. Why do people conflict with each other and what is the scale of such collisions. The best ways to avoid confrontation at home, at work, and with friends. Conflict is a situation of confrontation that can arise both between two people and between groups of individuals. This is one of the side effects of communication of different personalities with different views, characters, goals and worldview. It cannot be eradicated, but it can be avoided or minimized. To do this, you need to know the nature of conflicts and the main methods of their prevention.
The concept of conflict and its types
There are many definitions that describe the concept of conflict. But at the same time, everyone shows the main essence of this phenomenon - confrontation, contradiction, confrontation between people, expressed aloud.
This is a complex dynamic process, which got its name from the Latin "conflictus", which means collision. It can be based on subjective or objective "inconsistencies". More often it has an open character and is accompanied by emotions with a minus sign, but it allows you to consider the issue from all sides, to hear the opposite point of view.
In the process of formation, a conflict situation has several successive stages of development:
- Subject stage … This is the stage of the inception of the conflict, when the object of disagreement is discovered.
- Conflict interaction … At this stage, the detected subject of the conflict is expressed openly. The confrontation is developing.
- Conflict resolution … There can be two options for the ending: complete settlement of the conflict, when the situation is resolved, or partial, when it only calms down or is postponed for later.
The modern classification of conflicts is based on many factors: the number of participants in a conflict situation, its manifestation, consequences, forms of confrontation, etc. Therefore, the number of types of such confrontation is very large. Here are some of the most popular classifications of conflict situations.
The main types of conflicts:
- According to the consequences of a social nature … According to their outcome, confrontations can be successful or unsuccessful, destructive or constructive, constructive or destructive.
- By the levels of the parties to the conflict … Depending on who acts as the opposing sides, conflicts are distinguished between individuals or groups of people, between associations, state formations and cultures.
- By source of occurrence … The following topics can lead to confrontation between the parties: inconsistency of values, identification, interests.
- By the form of confrontation … Confrontation can manifest itself openly, aggressively or peacefully.
- By scale … Depending on how many participants the conflict situation captures, it can be local (local) and limited to a few people or a team, as well as regional, when whole regions come into confrontation. Also, the conflict can grow to interstate and global proportions.
- In relation to the participants in the conflict situation itself … Given that the parties to the conflict themselves may relate differently to the misunderstanding that has arisen, the confrontation can be genuine, accidental, hidden or false, objective or subjective.
- By tactics … The manifestation of confrontation can take place in different forms: in the form of debate and debate, in the form of a game, or, more severely, in the form of active physical influence (fight, military action).
Causes of conflicts
Human existence is multifaceted, therefore, the reasons for the emergence of confrontation can affect a variety of areas of human activity. The conflict can be based on purely emotional hostility, rejection of certain forms of behavior or certain situations, etc. Let us dwell on the most significant factors that form conflict situations.
Common causes of conflicts:
- Goals … Misunderstanding or rejection of the desired result, when people see the outcome of their activities (actions, decisions, behavior) differently, often leads to confrontation.
- Views … Often, a conflict arises between the parties who disagree on the ways of solving a certain situation (problem).
- The senses … A conflict situation can also be of a purely personal nature, when its participants simply cannot agree on the level of emotions and feelings for each other.
If we consider these causal factors from the perspective of the spheres of human activity, they will look like this:
- Causes of social conflicts … Social opposition is a prerequisite for the development of society. It can be based on several positions: social inequality, heterogeneity of culture and customs, difference in values and ideology. Many social confrontations are based on economic factors and the degree of distribution of power. Within the family, the reasons for conflicts can be different views on life, parenting, intimate relationships, jealousy, financial and everyday problems, bad habits and addictions.
- Causes of conflicts within the organization … Forced to be within a heterogeneous collective in the conditions of one organization inevitably leads to the emergence of confrontations. A spark for flaring up a conflict in this case can be a struggle for leadership, unsatisfactory working conditions, a difference of interests, understanding of the labor process and subordination, the distribution of material benefits and incentives.
- Causes of interethnic conflicts … The desire to improve the economic situation or the boundaries of influence, living conditions, restoration of lost rights or geographical boundaries can cause enmity between states or subjects of different nationalities. Historical, religious and confessional differences, political games and the numerical superiority of one nation over another give no less reason for interethnic strife.
Understanding the cause of a conflict situation gives a great advantage to those who want to manage it. The most effective way to avoid conflict is based precisely on the knowledge of its nature.
How to avoid conflict
Most people who become participants in confrontation try to justify their behavior by circumstances, emotional background, provocative behavior of the interlocutor, etc. They do not even suspect that there are ways to avoid conflict - in any situation.
General guidelines for avoiding conflict
There are some general tips that will help to nip the conflict "at the root", no matter what is its cause and how many participants there are:
- Keep your emotions in check … The best way to prevent or constructively end a conflict situation is to turn off your emotions and your Ego. It is a "sober head" that will help to conduct a dialogue so that later you do not regret what was said or done.
- Don't screw yourself up … Learn to live in the moment, without running your thoughts and fantasies into the future - do not fantasize about what is not, and what has not yet happened. It often happens that we wind ourselves up, building in our head inconceivable variations in the development of events, on which we then base our claims. Although it turns out that they all turned out to be far-fetched.
- Be attentive to the interlocutor … If you have a reason to discuss a problem, advise or find out something, choose the right time for the conversation - when the interlocutor is tuned in to dialogue. If he is out of sorts, tired, upset or angry, you have every chance to turn communication into a conflict situation.
- Do not remember the past … Make it a rule not to "tie" past wrongdoings and mistakes of your interlocutor to today's problem. Such tactics will only aggravate the confrontation. This is a very effective way to avoid conflicts with loved ones.
- Do not accumulate resentment and problems in yourself.… Unresolved controversial moments, unspoken experiences and grievances tend to accumulate and splash out in a fountain of negative emotions. Naturally, conflicts during such outbursts cannot be avoided.
- Keep calm and courteous … So that the conflict situation is quickly resolved or does not arise at all, monitor your speech. Do not be hysterical, speak in a calm tone, without insults, ridicule and mockery.
How to avoid conflicts with your boss
Most of our life passes at work, so the possibility of misunderstandings in this area of life is great. Moreover, they can arise in several planes - with colleagues or with a higher-ranking employee, a boss.
The main rules on how to avoid conflicts at work with your boss:
- The boss is always right … Remember this basic principle of any leadership. And even if it is very difficult to observe it, in any case, your opposition should be deliberate, tactful and adequate.
- Calm, only calm … If you have come under the hot hand of your boss or you think the claims made to you are unfounded, restrain yourself from a violent answer. Wait until the "aggressor" calms down, and only then find out all the points you do not understand.
- Gossip - stop … Make it a rule not to discuss leadership with your peers. Even outside of work and in an informal setting. There is no guarantee that your words will not convey to the ears of the subject of discussion.
- Correct relationship … Do not allow frivolity and ingratiation in dealing with the management. Only professionalism in communication and behavior will help you avoid confrontation with both management and colleagues.
How to avoid conflicts with colleagues
The main ways to avoid conflicts with work colleagues:
- Keep your distance … A working relationship will not only provide you with the most efficient working environment, it will not make you the target or victim of gossip.
- Be impartial … If you are involved in a conflict, do not choose sides and remain neutral. You do not know how it will end and what consequences it will leave behind. Be calm and reasonable even when you are one of the parties to a conflict situation. Even if the cause of the conflict is personal "intolerance".
- Observe the principle of "tete-a-tete" … Try to seek permission to any misunderstandings and disagreements alone with the interlocutor, outside the team.
- Respect the experience of others … If you are uncomfortable with comments or attempts to interfere with your work by more experienced employees, do not hesitate to calmly find out the reason for this attitude towards yourself. If you are truly “sinful,” accept help and improve.
How to avoid conflicts with friends
Life shows that moments of misunderstanding and disagreement can arise even between the best friends. Considering the same life, there are not many good friends, so you should not risk them and enter into confrontation with them.
Basic recommendations for preventing conflicts with friends:
- Get away from conflicts … If you see that your friend is in an aggressive mood and a conflict situation is inevitable, physically avoid the collision. You can think of urgent matters, an unsolved problem, an iron that is not turned off - anything that will give you a reason to stop communicating with a friend at the moment of his "inadequacy".
- Pause … Try not to react to comments and barbs right away, especially if they are petty and insignificant. Use the classic method of counting to 10. And there you will see how to answer and whether it is worth answering at all.
- Prioritize … If a conflict is inevitable, think about what is more important to you - to maintain friendly relations or to prove your point of view. In this case, you can blindly agree with the instigator or try to jointly find a world solution to the problem that has arisen.
How to avoid conflicts with parents
The conflict between fathers and children is an eternal problem of relations, the relevance of which will exist as long as the participants themselves. Parental love, combined with life experience, do not always find a common language with youth and the desire for independence.
Basic principles of how to avoid conflicts with loved ones:
- Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes.… Try to approach the causes of conflict impartially and correct when necessary.
- Don't let your feelings go … Leave provocations and intentions to throw you off balance without a response. Emotions often make it difficult to see the root of the problem and the correct way to solve it.
- Be tactful and condescending … Being polite, calm, and listening without interrupting are the best ways to show the value of good relationships with loved ones. Make allowances for the age of your relatives, emotional background, health status. Mood swings and poor health are common to everyone.
- Prevent conflicts … Do not accumulate resentments and misunderstandings, so that they do not create the basis for the emergence of confrontation.
How to avoid conflicts with children
No less reason for misunderstanding and collisions can arise with their own children. This makes it much more difficult to maintain a productive parent-child relationship.
The main rules for avoiding conflicts with children:
- Look at the root of the problem … Very often, children use conflict situations in order to attract attention to themselves. And parents - first of all. Learn to first see the cause of the opposition and only then choose the path of its solution.
- Criticize correctly … A child, like any adult, is unpleasant to hear criticism in his address. Therefore, try to make comments to your child correctly: firstly, in essence, and secondly, with a continuation, that is, explaining how to correct himself, to become better.
- Explain your denials … If you do not intend to satisfy every desire of your child, learn to argue for this. Ignoring will only exacerbate the problem, since the child perceives such an attitude towards himself as indifference.
- Chat with your kids more often … It is confidential communication that makes it possible to find out everything that your child breathes - his fears, desires, moods, dreams. And, accordingly, avoid conflict situations.
How to avoid conflicts with your loved one
If relationships with parents and children are blood relationships, then relationships with their other half have a slightly different perspective. This perspective gives a lot of reasons for the emergence of conflict confrontations. And if you do not find the best way to avoid conflicts in the family, this family may either not exist or not become.
The main ways to avoid conflicts with your partner:
- Respect your other half … Remember that your significant other is a person who has their own tastes, habits, interests, and preferences. In the end, this is the kind of person you love.
- Be sincere and honest.… The best cement for strengthening relationships is sincerity and openness. Do not forget that it is not fair to demand from your partner what you cannot do or do not possess yourself.
- Listen to yourself … Before you start a conflict or take offense, look inside yourself. Perhaps emotions, fatigue, or ordinary hunger speak to you. And keep in mind that your half may be driven by the same reasons.
- Be nicer … It is well known that an affectionate word is pleasant to a cat. Therefore, notice more good things in your partner, praise and motivate.
Important! Remember that happy people simply do not have the time and reason to sort things out with someone and gossip. How to avoid conflicts - watch the video:
In the modern world, conflicts have fertile ground for development, but this does not mean that this state of affairs should be taken as the norm. Peaceful communication and mutual understanding make life more beautiful and fruitful. Therefore, it is worth fighting to keep all confrontations to a minimum.
