Fear of betrayal and its typical manifestations. The article will discuss how to identify such a mental anomaly in oneself and eliminate the voiced problem at the root. Fear of betrayal is a specific feeling that, for all its seeming harmlessness, can significantly ruin the life of insecure individuals. In this case, the chosen one is sometimes an exemplary family man, but his soul mate is constantly afraid of betrayal on his part. With this model of behavior, it is really possible to completely ruin the relationship with the partner, therefore it is necessary to understand the reasons for the occurrence of such fear.
What is the fear of betrayal
Some people confuse the voiced phenomenon with banal jealousy or fear of being left alone. However, psychologists have clearly defined this concept, which is quite different from a simple distrust of your soulmate. Jealousy can arise even at the sight of a partner who enthusiastically communicates with an attractive member of the opposite sex. Mistrust is usually based on an initial suspicion of everything that happens inside and outside the married couple. Jealousy in a small dosage is even acceptable, because it allows you to warm up the passion of two loving hearts for each other. However, if we are already talking about paranoid thoughts about the mandatory betrayal of a loved one with a very exemplary behavior, then we can diagnose such a thing as the fear of betrayal.
It is activated even in those situations when a loved one is close to a potential jealous person 24 hours a day and is tightly controlled by him.
The causes of the fear of betrayal
An obsessive sense of anticipated family collapse can develop on the basis of phobias, which usually make themselves felt as follows:
- Self-doubt … Deep down, not all men and women consider themselves individuals who always remain out of competition. Some people start to get nervous about the possible betrayal by their other half literally out of the blue. The fear of betrayal in such persons is formed on the basis of any complexes, which are created thanks to their own imagination or from the noise of "well-wishers".
- Childhood problems … Fear of cheating can arise in an adult if his parents have divorced in the past. Not all children perceive this process painlessly, because for them the collapse of the family is a rather significant psychological trauma. Such a mania sometimes develops also due to the lack of a sense of security in the baby or adolescent.
- Bad experiences in the past … When analyzing interpersonal relationships, few couples can boast that their marriage was originally based on mutual trust. If one of the partners in the past did not have a love story due to the fact of betrayal on the part of the second half, then the fear of repeating the bitter experience can become an obsession.
- The presence of infidelity in a couple … A similar reason for the occurrence of the described mania further exacerbates the fear of betrayal on the part of a loved one. You can also understand the betrayal of a spouse with whom any relationship is no longer maintained. To accept the fact of the existence of interest on the side in an existing marriage is given to a fairly small number of people. Even if a sinner who has repented is returned to his family, there is no guarantee that his adventures will not be repeated.
- Strange spouse behavior … In most cases, it may seem suspicious to people who are extremely insecure, who see a conspiracy in every act of others. The fear of cheating will constantly haunt such persons, because they are not able to become happy because of far-fetched problems.
- Partner's candid flirting … Not every person will like the fact that his chosen one turned out to be a rather windy person. There is a type of people who can stop at the stage of compliments and greasy jokes in relation to the opposite sex. However, his soul mate will have enough and these half-hints of the desire to have fun on the side, so that the fear of potential betrayal develops in the future.
- Fear of betrayal in young mothers … Once stylish and confident in her abilities, a beauty can lose her attractive forms for the male eye after childbirth. You should not be afraid of this, because everything has its time when restoring a figure after pregnancy. However, not all young mothers hear such sound reasoning, who have a fear of betrayal on the part of their partner at the sight of more attractive potential rivals.
- Hormonal disbalance … With menopause, many ladies begin to react rather inadequately to quite ordinary things. Hormones can play a cruel joke with them, because during this period of life, a woman often becomes a suspicious and whiny person.
- Partner threats … They can even be pronounced as a joke, which is clearly unsuccessful. Humor like "you can't take out the trash - I'll go to a neighbor" very often ends with a sad consequence in the form of the appearance of such "jokes" in the victim of fear of treason at the slightest offense.
To some people, this mania will seem insignificant against the background of the same pathological jealousy, which sometimes leads to a rather bloody denouement of events. However, a person with such fear will not be able to preserve his marriage, because the water wears away the stone. Not every spouse will agree to put up with a depressed person who herself does not believe in the joint future of the established couple.
The main signs of fear of treason in a person
It is very important for the close environment and the person himself to stop in time if there is a suspicion of a voiced mania. According to experts, the fear of betrayal of a husband or wife usually looks like this:
- Strong partner control … Even if the spouse is stuck in the same "traffic jam", then at home he will be immediately interrogated with pompous speeches in the style of a prosecutor. Through each word, it will be said "no need to lie", "who will confirm this" or "come up with something more convincing." The victim of fear of betrayal is always in an active search for compromising evidence on his partner. All of his pockets are carefully checked several times a day. The phone of a potential "cheater" is studied with such attention that a professional detective would envy. If the chosen one is out of touch for at least 5 minutes, then for him it can end very badly upon arrival home.
- Regular tantrums … Particularly eccentric people in this process can engage in smashing dishes to enhance the effect of the educational event. The voiced action is done according to the schedule and with enviable consistency. With the fear of betrayal, insecure individuals can shed a huge amount of tears for one reason they know and even enjoy such an activity.
- Demonstrative self-pity … Falling in love with yourself as the only one will not be a problem for most people who value themselves as individuals. However, with this obsessive state, pity is formed in a particularly active mode. At the same time, the spouse is charged with taking the best years of her life from the victim of the described mania.
- "Solid" reasons … With regard to and in most cases without it, people with a fear of treason conduct a thorough investigation into the fact of possible betrayal. It is enough for them to receive "reliable" information from a pensioner neighbor, who literally saw with her own eyes the fact of entertainment on the side of the unfaithful scoundrel. This gossip is quite suitable for an insecure person, then to arrange a family evening with a stormy showdown between the spouses.
- Strange questions … Some people are simply attacked by their other halves with similar attacks if they are obsessed with the fear of betrayal. This is done by bombarding the desired object with phrases like "do you love me?" At first, such an increased interest in oneself is even pleasant to the spouse. But this is only at the very initial stage of the described process, which ultimately turns into elementary whining and obsession.
Note! This behavior is not a problem exclusively for a person who has a constant fear of cheating. It affects the interests of his partner, who cannot feel comfortable in family life with such a model of behavior.
Methods for Dealing with Fear of Cheating
Psychologists strongly recommend that you definitely should not put up with this feeling. There are many ways to get rid of the fear of cheating. At the same time, it is not necessary to visit a specialist, because such a mania is eliminated by a doctor only in critical situations.
Psychologists' advice on getting rid of the fear of cheating for women
The fair sex, in most cases, are potential jealous people who are afraid of the appearance of a brighter rival in the life of their man. To get rid of such an obsessive complex, you must act as follows:
- Self-realization … So that thoughts are not occupied with unproductive plans and ghostly doubts, you need to organize your leisure time with the maximum benefit for the business. In this case, it is worth remembering that in the family, the partner rarely cheats on his soul mate, if he considers her to be an accomplished personality. If the chosen one does not suffer from such a concept as sexual promiscuity, then he will never seek consolation on the side in the presence of a beloved and respected wife.
- Body care … It is necessary once and for all to forget the convenient excuse for lazy people that my husband should love me in any way. He can admire and wish even a spouse who has ceased to take care of herself, but is it worth the risk in this way. Fear of treason most often visits precisely those women who understand that there are many rather attractive persons around her man. However, nothing prevents the insecure lady to pull herself together and start improving her appearance.
- Abandoning the prohibition on sex … By punishing her spouse in this way, a woman punishes herself first and foremost. A man will find consolation on the side, but then how to live with this fact for his wife is a big question. With the fear of a possible betrayal of her husband, it is not recommended to deny intimacy to a loved one without a substantial reason for this.
- No surveillance … Some women turn their personal lives into the animated series "Koloboks are Investigating". Such a model of behavior can not only destroy trust in a married couple, but also lead them to divorce in the future. The fear of betrayal should not guide the feelings and actions of the spouse, turning her from a loving and tender wife into a bloodhound.
- Conversation with friends in misfortune … No one will be surprised by the fact that ladies like to “wash” the bones of their friends and their soulmate at their leisure. This event can be carried out even more effectively if you find like-minded people with a similar problem. If a woman let off steam during such a conversation and realized that her fears are not an isolated case, then she will not be frustrated by her spouse.
Psychologists' advice on eliminating the fear of cheating for men
A strong half of humanity can also experience all the negative aspects of such mental pathology. At the same time, experts advise potential Othello to change the situation for the better in the following way:
- Improving self-esteem … Every man who loves and is loved by his chosen one should clearly analyze his merits and demerits. If a woman chose this particular partner as her life partner, it means that she argued this for herself in a certain way. Therefore, a man who suffers from the fear of betrayal must work on himself in order to prove to his soul mate the correctness of her choice.
- Frank conversation with a partner … Women love with their ears, which the stronger sex should always understand. If there is fear about possible betrayal on her part, then you should clearly tell her about it. With an important monologue for a couple, it is necessary to clearly argue the voiced fear so that it does not look like a reaction to another gossip from ill-wishers. However, you should not turn a heart-to-heart conversation into a uniform interrogation with addiction to your spouse.
- Maximum trust … You cannot be forcibly sweet, so if love has passed, then a woman can start looking for a new partner. If peace and tranquility reign in the family, then it is not necessary to destroy the acquired happiness by artificial actions. Fear of betrayal is, first of all, disrespect for your partner, if he does not give the slightest reason to doubt his sincerity.
- Life one day … A man should think about the fact that the fear of betrayal of his beloved woman can completely poison his existence. You need to appreciate what at the moment brings him peace and happiness. You should not escalate the situation in the family if the imaginary fears are exclusively a figment of the imagination of an insecure man.
How to get rid of the fear of treason - watch the video:
When the question arises, how to overcome the fear of betrayal, you just need to calm down and put your thoughts in order. This must be done at least in order not to expose your couple to the risk of divorce in the future. It's also important to make an effort to regain self-confidence. After all, it is always good to be around with an interesting and attractive personality.
