The narcissist and life with him. The article will talk about egocentrists and ways of finding a common language with them for a second half. The narcissist is a time bomb for those close to him. Everyone is sensitive to himself, if you do not take into account convinced fatalists and suicidal individuals. However, everything in life should be clearly dosed, so communication with narcissists can create many problems for his family and friends. Consequently, the question of the tactics of behavior with such personalities is quite acute for a large number of people.
Causes of Narcissism
It will become frivolous to believe that narcissists are exclusively born. Of course, genes play an important role in the formation of any personality, but a person is created primarily by family and society.
The narcissist's self-love often arises for the following reasons:
- Excessive parental admiration … Since childhood, families like these little darlings have been praised and exalted to unimaginable heights. Your children definitely need to be praised so that they do not develop an inferiority complex. However, feeding a child's excessive selfishness is extremely dangerous, because later for him it will end in outright narcissism to the detriment of the interests of loved ones. As the saying goes, if you want a problem - systematically praise your beloved child.
- The appearance of a little genius in the family … This reason for the emergence of narcissism in the future is very close to the previously voiced factor of excessive love of parents for their child. However, some children really start to amaze society from an early age with their undoubted talents. In this case, everything depends on the parents, who should not ruin the young talent, without giving the opportunity to develop a pseudo-genius.
- Lack of parental attention … The voiced type of children is the flip side of the coin regarding a small family member who is erected on a pedestal. Some babies, as compensation for uselessness, are able to start an inner life that they only know. Intuitively protecting themselves from the indifference of the people closest to them, they begin to idealize their own "I". At the same time, it remains interesting that such small individuals with a strange attitude towards themselves and those around them continue to idolize their irresponsible parents.
- Continuous success in life … Fortune is a capricious lady who can caress any person with her attention. However, often a systematic streak of luck can make even an adequate person a narcissist. At the same time, luck can pursue a rather ordinary individual, which will create an aura of greatness for him, which will not be easy for the close people of the newly-minted Caesar to eliminate.
- Conjured idol … At first glance, this theory will seem absurd, but it has a fairly clear justification. Some people, having created an idol for themselves, believe that they are somewhat comparable to him. The similarities with the chosen man-legend make the newly-minted proud people think about their own exclusivity, which ultimately leads to narcissism.
- Protest to everyone and everything … In this case, it is worth talking about a very rare variety of rebellious daffodils. They plunge into self-contemplation only for the reason that they are tired of looking at what fate has presented to them. These are mostly hardened cynics, but the line between them and the newly-minted daffodils is very thin.
Note! Psychologists state the fact that narcissism is an acquired quality of a behavioral model. Therefore, it is quite possible to fight such a mental illness if the chosen one is really dear to the heart.
Signs of a narcissist
If we are talking about a secret erotomaniac or a notorious hypocrite, then this type of people is quite difficult to identify. There is no need to look for signs of a narcissist for the simple reason that he himself will not notice excessive attention to him.
Psychologists, having studied the problem of increased narcissism of some individuals with themselves, identified the following features of such people:
- Egocentrism … God is the product of everything around, but this is far from a fact for people of this kind of character. True narcissists believe that everyone owes them forever and ever. They explain this statement practically in any way, because they have no time to conduct a dialogue with ordinary mortals. In their opinion, the people around them themselves must understand all their mistakes when communicating with perfection.
- Scheme "I see through you" … The situation is very simple: they listen to you and do not even see you. The narcissist is indifferent to the problems of not only strangers, but also the sorrows of relatives. The main thing for them is not to lose the state of perfect self-contemplation, in which there is no place for everyday life and other ordinary trifles. It is difficult to communicate with such a person, not because he is rude or badly brought up. He simply does not see his opponent until he begins to give him the desired and obvious compliments.
- Coldness of the soul … A narcissist is an extremely indifferent nature, even if something did not go according to his ideal plan of introspection. In this case, there are two ways to identify an overt and covert (inverted) narcissist. An open egoist delights in the fact that he simply openly declares his indifference to the whole world. The ultimate aerobatics of this kind of people is the complete absence of such an outburst of feelings, because egocentrists to a certain degree do not care about anything that interferes with their peace of mind. The inverted narcissist is extremely touchy because he is a subtle shadow of his bright and contented self-centered idol.
- Arrogance … In this case, the family tree that has become so popular lately comes to mind. “Who was nobody, he became everything” is a great saying for some presumptuous upstarts. We are all equal in this world, but some people consider themselves the center of not just the Earth, but the entire Galaxy. The weakest manifestation of this phenomenon is snobs. There is little harm from them, because these subjects are tightly enclosed in the framework and limitations of their own moral principles. Sadder is the fact that the narcissist falls directly into the "rags to riches" category. The people will not say too much that we sometimes have the pleasure of observing in modern reality.
- Aggressiveness … If we recall the myth of the beautiful Narcissus, then we will not notice a single outburst of emotions on his part in relation to the people around him. Lonely and abandoned by him, Echo went into oblivion, which would never have happened in our time. We all clearly know our rights, and for narcissists this is a prayer before every meal. Active self-centered people who are ready to look in the mirror or at a passport photo for hours will not tolerate more brilliant competitors nearby. The result is excessive aggression towards those who have not appreciated the merits of a militant self-lover. Passive narcissists will not even notice the threatening danger, because they do not really imply the presence of a more intelligent and beautiful creature in the Universe than they are.
Important! Psychologists are strongly advised to look closely at people with a similar pattern of behavior. Very often, society considers it necessary to turn its attention to aggressive psychopaths, outright revelers and brawlers. However, do not forget that a narcissistic narcissist is capable of destroying the fate of any person who decides to associate life with such a selfish self-lover.
The consequences of a relationship with a narcissist
First of all, it is worth assimilating for yourself the fact that it will be extremely difficult to live and spend your free leisure with such a person. The first task in this case is generally to draw the narcissist's attention to his own person.
If such manipulations ended with some success, then you need to remember the following consequences of communication with this type of personality:
- Low self-esteem … Near the male peacock and the female often feels some discomfort due to her modest plumage. You can joke about this for a long time, but the fact remains that a person-narcissist is able to destroy his own “I” of a person in love with him. In this case, we can talk about the craving of the weak for the strong, which is so characteristic of many conversations about the meaning of life. However, it is sometimes difficult to determine who is weaker in spirit: the narcissist or his victim blinded by passion.
- Depression … A person is initially arranged in such a way that a relationship with a narcissist is unlikely to bring him fireworks of emotions and a bunch of positives. Strong-minded people will immediately give up such a relationship, which is not always an easy solution to the problem. Even narcissistic people are able to arouse passion in the opposite sex, bringing only suffering to ardent lovers in the future. Seeing indifference to oneself on the part of the egocentric, to whom the soul has become attached, any person is capable of falling into a state of depression.
- Revenge … Othello's times have not yet passed, because the temperament and behavior patterns of all people are radically different. A narcissistic partner can cause both depression and a feeling that is radically opposite to the voiced state of mind. In this case, it is worth pitying exclusively the egocentric, who, in the process of narcissism, forgets about the elementary sense of self-preservation next to an angry admirer.
Note! All the voiced consequences of communicating with a narcissist do not carry a positive attitude and hope for a further happy relationship. Psychologists strongly recommend starting an active fight against excessive selfishness in your soulmate.
How to deal with a narcissist
Loving yourself is not forbidden, as evidenced by the cult and beloved in the 80s film "The Most Charming and Attractive". However, all those who carefully watched this masterpiece of Gerald Bezhanov remember the result of such a phenomenon.
Tactics for communicating with a narcissistic man
If a woman has chosen a narcissist man as her partner, then she should heed the following advice from psychologists:
- Full equality of partners … The self-lover is a tough nut to crack, which not every woman can see through. The voiced version is one of the most difficult when it comes to the struggle for the heart of a narcissist man. In this case, a woman needs to clearly declare her individuality. The outcome of the sounded manipulations can be twofold: the narcissist will wake up after narcissism full of strength or simply run away from an aggressive partner.
- Approval of the actions of the second half … It is a well-known fact that narcissists have no time to do nasty things to other people and commit illegal acts. Consequently, extra praise for their wonderful sociability (albeit not deserved) never hurts. From women, as they say, will not diminish, and the egocentrist will once again feel like an axis around which the Earth revolves. This has another significant plus: we praise, but someone will tolerate this. Therefore, we cherish and cherish our narcissist man until the self-sufficient woman gets tired of it.
- Complete lack of criticism … To approve does not always mean not to condemn. Very often in this life, a narcissist man listens to those strong women who are capable of expressing their claims in his eyes. However, there is one small "but": does he need it? Therefore, a wise woman who is not fortunate enough to fall in love with a narcissist should be even more perspicacious in her statements.
The intricacies of a relationship with a narcissistic woman
A woman in her accomplishments is a complete mystery, so the fair sex is always aware of what he needs to do. Men in the case of a relationship with a narcissistic narcissist should take the following actions:
- Surprise effect … The first step to failure while living with a narcissist is to be completely submissive to him. A person who loves himself excessively will never see the efforts of someone who does not value his own dignity. In this case, I recall the film based on Shakespeare's play "Twelfth Night", where the storyline between the partners is clearly indicated in the situation being voiced. The beautiful Olivia did not want to know anyone, because everyone around praised her extraordinary beauty. Noble nobles bored her so much that the narcissist woman decided to remain alone for the rest of her days. However, further intrigue unfolded awakened the narcissistic beauty from sleep and gave her a chance to find her happiness.
- The element of intrigue … The phrase "in all you, darling, dresses are good" will be a catalyst for a woman-narcissist, if a beloved eulogy is not offered to his idol. At first, the egoist will think at the same time, and then she will be angry that she was exchanged for that gray mouse in a nondescript dress.
- Sincere conversation … Everyone knows that a woman loves with her ears. It should be noted that ladies-daffodils at the same time love with all their nerve points. Consequently, it is no longer possible to over praise them, because they are firmly convinced of their ideality. A man who has fallen in love with a woman of this type must constantly inspire his half that she is the best. At the same time, the lady will not be surprised at the obvious fact for her, but she will not go looking for adventure on the side of a reliable family abode.
How to deal with a narcissist - watch the video:
Life is always a certain streak of failures and success, which should not be surprising to a sane person. It is illogical to tell yourself firmly that your chosen one is a complete failure. Even in relationships with convinced self-centered people, the voiced advice on how to deal with narcissists will help. However, continue to communicate or part with this type of personality? This question can only be answered independently.
