The Cinderella complex and the reasons for its formation. The article will provide recommendations for eliminating the voiced problem and ways to achieve female happiness. The Cinderella complex is a state in which a woman continues to live childhood dreams, believe in a fairy tale and refuse to accept reality. She also does not want to make even the smallest effort to rectify the situation. It is necessary to clearly understand for oneself the consequences that may arise with the sounded psychological imbalance in the fair sex. Otherwise, a woman with a Cinderella complex can put a fat end to the creation of a family hearth in the future.
The mechanism of development of the Cinderella complex
The origins of this problem should be sought in childhood, when the girl is just beginning to form as a person. Usually, the Cinderella complex develops according to the following pattern, which sometimes grows like a snowball:
- Primary provocateur … There is no smoke without fire, so any problem has its own reasons for the formation. At the same time, a girl's psychological imbalance can occur both in a simple and in a wealthy family.
- Fixation in the mind of the complex … On fertile (with a minus sign) soil, the formation of a voiced problem begins, which will then need to be got rid of. It is important for parents to see the crisis situation in time so as not to cripple the fate of their child in the future.
- Development of the complex … If the moment of the possibility of correcting the girl's worldview is missed, then after that the mechanism of Cinderella's syndrome is triggered. You can stop it if adults are watching changes in the psychological state of their daughter.
- An emerging problem … In this case, we are no longer talking about the causes of the deformation of the child's worldview, but about their consequences. The Cinderella complex is not the norm for any woman, because it basically implies a distorted concept of behavior model.
Important! Many troubles can be prevented if the issue is properly approached. Each girl will become a mature person in the future, so it is very important for parents to organize everything in such a way as to make her future personal life successful.
Reasons for the development of the Cinderella complex
It is necessary to fight evil only after its sources have been investigated. The causes of this syndrome are usually commonplace and look like this:
- Fear of Success … Colette Dowling sees the Cinderella complex in this very factor. A well-known American psychotherapist carefully studied the voiced problem, noting the sources of its education in the inability and unwillingness of a woman to build her life on her own.
- Imposed stereotypes … Some parents themselves inspire their daughter that she is a princess and must wait for the very best and only. The idea itself is pretty good, but you can't raise a child solely on this principle.
- Fear of loneliness … Some women are even ready for a pseudo-prince, to whom they themselves attribute non-existent dignities. If a more or less worthy candidate for adoration appears on the horizon, then a person with an anxious soul is ready to make him her chosen one.
- The aftermath of the Alice in Wonderland complex … It all starts with daydreaming and belief in the reality of achieving the desired. Dreams eventually reach grandiose proportions, which ultimately develops into a Cinderella complex. This is an even more passive model of behavior than the one voiced above, and it often leads to female loneliness.
- Parental education … In this case, the little girl is clearly given instructions that only deprivation can bring long-awaited happiness. Perseverance and work will grind everything - the motto of such dads and mothers, who really consider their advice to be correct. As a result, the child takes everything literally and becomes a victim of life's circumstances.
The listed reasons can affect the fate of a woman in different ways. There is a type of people who feel quite comfortable in the role of a victim. Suffering and being used by dishonest people is their normal state, from which they do not want to leave.
The main signs of the presence of the Cinderella complex
It is quite simple to calculate a lady in such a state of mind. Psychologists recommend paying attention to the following manifestations of the sounded phenomenon in a woman:
- Hovering in the clouds … The fair sex with such a model of behavior immediately shows that they have no idea about real life. They think about everything, but not about pressing problems. In this case, one immediately remembers the enchanting person from the movie "The Blonde Around the Corner", who saw the whole world around her a little differently than pragmatic and sober people.
- Excessive requirements for yourself … An inferiority complex very often begins to develop in those individuals who are too insecure in their abilities. Deep down, they do not understand that they deserve much more than fate gives them. Such secret thoughts begin to trigger the described Cinderella complex in a woman.
- Naivety … Ladies with a voiced problem sometimes amaze with their attitude to existing reality. They are able to wait until complete physical withering for the prince on the notorious white horse. Such women are rarely happy because they end up becoming spinsters.
- Lack of personal opinion … Individuals with the described complex are usually uncomplaining personalities. They are unable to defend their position, because they are often afraid to get out of the shadow of their prejudices. They go with the flow and do not try to change anything in their life.
- Good girl complex … Each team had its own excellent pupil, who always and everywhere tried to be the best. Time passes, and the race for performance continues. There cannot be a simple guy next to such a special person who is not the best of the best. The complex of an excellent pupil is capable of turning even a very good person into an embittered woman in the future with obvious problems in her personal life.
- Romance … A similar personality is betrayed by a craving for sentimental melodramas like "Pretty Woman" with the brilliant Julia Roberts in the title role. A lady with a Cinderella complex is also interested in romance novels, where a simple girl became the chosen one of a handsome prince during the most incredible events.
- Victim behavior … If the heroine of the fairy tale by Charles Perrault and the Brothers Grimm had not found the patronage of the fairy godmother, then her life would definitely have ended among dirty pans. A woman with a Cinderella complex always dutifully endures tyranny, because she is simply not able to fight for her happiness.
- Altruism … It is possible to live for the sake of other people, but the question immediately arises about the expediency of such an existence. It is not a fact that such heroic deeds will be appreciated. In addition, a woman with a Cinderella complex can simply become an object for use by a villain for selfish purposes.
- Reliability … This quality of character is close to altruism, because such persons can call late at night and ask for help. At the same time, everything will look almost like an order, because no one asks the views of the victim of the described syndrome.
Varieties of the woman's Cinderella complex
Each problem has its own nuances, because there are no identical people. The Cinderella complex in psychology is considered by specialists from all sides, therefore this factor made it possible to make a certain classification of women of this type:
- Naive person … Such ladies really believe that the world is painted in the most iridescent colors. Even in the most primitive personality with some financial wealth and aplomb, they are ready to see that very ideal prince. The arguments of those around them, as a rule, do not work, because the so-called rose-colored glasses prevent naive women from understanding what is happening.
- A person with no plans for the future … A moth woman is able to flutter through life for a very long time in search of her ideal. She cannot coordinate her actions, because she is waiting for someone who himself will solve all her problems. It is easier for her to let the situation take its course than to try to find a way out of the impasse. She does not have her own opinion, so she dreams of an intelligent and strong chosen one to hide behind his back.
- Lady with advanced requirements … This is a rather rare type of woman with a Cinderella complex, because usually individuals with a similar worldview have low self-esteem. But in any rule there are exceptions, so even such persons can, in the depths of their souls, protest against the prevailing circumstances and dream of an ideal prince.
- Woman child … Such persons resemble Bambi the fawn, who looks at the world with amazed eyes. Such ladies do not change with age, because they are used to living in the world of children's fantasies. For them, a handsome prince is not a fairy tale at all, but a real desire to find an ideal partner for themselves. They are ready to endure everything, because they are immature individuals and do not know how to stand up for themselves.
The consequences of the Cinderella complex in a woman
There is no need to look for a positive result with the sounded phenomenon, but nevertheless it looks in a number of cases completely differently:
- The feverish search for the betrothed … A woman with Cinderella syndrome in an advanced stage of its development can start a real hunt for a successful partner. She will try to please everyone and everyone, because she is acutely afraid of being alone. In some cases, her plan succeeds, but the fact of acquiring an ideal prince in the narrowed will not always correspond to reality.
- The status of an old maid … The expectation of a perfect partner who will come and solve all the problems of a woman with the described complex can be delayed. As a result, the lady will remain in her own interests and in splendid isolation, never having created a full-fledged relationship with a man.
- Constant victim … Such a woman has practically no personal life, since she lives with the problems of others. She's not in a position to refuse them. Usually such ladies are lonely, with two or three, or even more cats. They are regularly asked to sit with someone's children, watch a neighbor for free while her relatives are busy with their lives, etc. The second case is life with a difficult partner. They can be drunkards, drug addicts, ex-prisoners. At the same time, a woman always finds an excuse for them, endures antics, beatings and expects that everything will work out, because he is "good".
- Careerists … It is an extremely rare case when a lady becomes a loner just because she cannot find a worthy one. In addition, she has an excellent pupil's complex, so it is not so easy to find an equal partner. She directs all her energy to her career, sometimes becoming an oppressive leader who comes home just to sleep. And even if she is introduced to a simple and good man, she will not agree to meet with him solely because of the search for her ideal.
Note! All options cannot characterize a woman's personal life as happy. Therefore, it is necessary to change something in your model of behavior and outlook in order not to become a lonely victim of circumstances in the future.
Ways to deal with the Cinderella complex
Any problem must be dealt with so that the situation does not go into an obvious dead end. Experts recommend many ways to deal with a dangerous symptom that endangers the victim's personal life.
Personal opportunities to eradicate the Cinderella complex
In some cases, a person is able to help himself if he begins to correctly assess the problem that has arisen. You can get rid of such a complex by using methods that sometimes work effectively:
- Conversation with a successful girlfriend … Among many women, there is a representative of the fair sex who seems smarter, more beautiful or luckier than them. The victim of the Cinderella complex definitely has such a friend, a frank conversation with whom will help solve the existing problem. The conversation that took place can sometimes amaze the instigator of a frank dialogue, because there are very few people completely satisfied with their fate. Consequently, she will understand that the ideal is a very relative concept, and it is not worth spending precious time looking for it.
- Behavior change … There are many attractive and well-groomed women, so men have plenty to choose from when looking for their chosen one. The prince from the fairy tale "Cinderella" also had a lot of opportunities to find his soul mate among princesses and court ladies. However, he was attracted by the mystery of the stranger, who was able to intrigue him with her behavior. Therefore, the role of the victim must be changed to the image of a mysterious lady in order to become interesting for representatives of the opposite sex.
- Striving for financial independence … You can dream of a wealthy chosen one, but you yourself should begin to realize yourself as a person. In this life, it is important to know that in any difficult situation it is realistic sometimes to do without outside help. A man will not disregard a woman who, in addition to having attractive external data, seeks to achieve success. Just do not go too far, turning into an avid career woman, because such ladies of the opposite sex only scare away.
- Ability to say no … Reliability cannot lead to anything good if it is not about sick parents, whose requests must always be satisfied. No one and no one is obliged to obey to the detriment of their interests and desires. We owe our children, and then their wishes must also be passed through the filter of the expediency of requirements. In all other cases, you can help your neighbor, if only there is an opportunity and desire to do this.
Psychologists' advice on dealing with the Cinderella complex
Not all women are able to get rid of the voiced problem on their own, so experts advise them to take the following actions:
- Attending trainings … If you really have the zeal to change your life, then there are many similar events for everyone. They will help a woman to raise her self-esteem and improve relationships with the opposite sex. In addition, the affected person will see people with the same problem, which will show her the prevalence of the Cinderella complex.
- Consultation with a psychologist … A competent specialist will always be able to find the reasons for what is happening in the life of a submissive loser and will offer methods to get rid of the Cinderella complex. While the therapy may take some time, as a result, the woman will be able to organize her personal life and build relationships with the people around her.
How to get rid of the Cinderella complex - watch the video:
The consequences of the Cinderella complex can be the most unpredictable, so you cannot leave the problem without a solution. Every woman deserves to be happy if she does not get any pleasure from the role of the victim.
