In the process of raising children, various methods are used that are interconnected with each other. One of them is punishment. How to do it correctly and when, how to do without it - everything in our article is about. Of course, this classification is rather arbitrary, but it is this classification, not counting corporal punishment, that is used in the modern system of raising children in special institutions (kindergartens, schools, camps, and so on). And the most important thing here is to choose and apply the correct method of punishment.
Choosing the right punishment for the child
As already mentioned, any punishment aims to prevent further unwanted actions and actions of the punished. Therefore, it is important for the teacher and parent to act not under the influx of their own emotions, but depending on the situation, age and psychological characteristics of their ward.
Examples have already been discussed in the previous paragraph. And now it is worth adding other factors, taking into account which will help to carry out the correct punishment of children:
- The child must clearly understand what he is being punished for.… Moreover, there must be a simple logical connection between his offense or guilt and the method of punishment. For example, if you get dirty - take it away. And then do it in another room to respect the work of other people. But here the question arises: what to do if the child is physically unable to perform the actions adequate to his offense? From here comes the second important condition.
- The ratio of physical ability and punishment … It is logical to say that there is no point in forcing a three-year-old girl or boy to rake leaves on six acres of land. The inability to handle a rake and the lack of strength for this will only cause resentment and despair in them, and for the elders - irritation and an extra reason for reproaches. In such a situation, it is necessary to look for alternative solutions, apply other methods of punishing the child.
- The situation that led to the need for punishment … This aspect is very often overlooked by many parents, educators and teachers. As a result, children may receive undeserved punishment, or it may be too severe. First of all, everyone is obliged to objectively understand the situation, and only then collect. For example, someone who has not yet developed the necessary motor skills cannot be punished for poorly tied shoelaces. Likewise, you shouldn't punish a child for breaking a cup while trying to put out a fire. Even for adult offenders, there is the concept of extenuating circumstances.
- Timeliness and sequence of actions … Psychologists and educators say that in many cases punishment should follow either immediately after the offense, or be absent altogether. Of course, here a lot depends on the situation, but you should not punish for a misconduct after, for example, two or three days. It may be better to apply a lighter punishment, but in a timely manner. This is most relevant for young children.
- Features of the character and developmental psychology of the child … When choosing a method of punishment, parents need to take into account the nature of their daughter or son, so that the process of punishment itself does not develop into a situation like "who will beat whom." In some cases, you can get the exact opposite of the desired result, and the child will continue to do the same act in spite of the parents or caregivers. And even more serious consequences, including suicide, can lead to an incorrectly chosen punishment, if you do not take into account age psychology. Especially during puberty, when the child's psyche is exposed to hormones.
It is necessary to clearly understand the boundaries of what is permissible in punishments, so as not to injure the psyche (and sometimes the body) of the ward by their actions, and also not to lay the foundation for a model of undesirable behavior for him.
The main prohibitions when punishing children
When raising a baby, you can go too far. This behavior will eventually lead either to protests, boycotts, problems with studies, or to the isolation and detachment of the child. In addition, the situation will most likely affect his future, and the accumulated grievances will make themselves felt in adulthood and even already in his family.
Here's what to avoid during punishment:
- Humiliation … Psychologists and educators unanimously declare that punishing children should in no way demean their personality.
- Harm to health … In some cases, parents or educators (teachers) may not beat, but apply other measures of influence on the child: forcing him to squat or push-ups from the floor, contact in one way or another with cold water, and even put him on his knees in a corner. It must be remembered that all this, except humiliation, can cause serious injury and illness. And already there will be no question of any educational effect here.
- Punishment for several offenses at the same time … The following should be taken as a rule: one offense - one punishment. Even hardened criminals serving sentences under several articles at once are imprisoned as long as the most serious of them provides.
- Punishing children, especially adolescents, in public … At this vulnerable age, a public demonstration of the moral or physical superiority of an adult, even a parent, can not only cause psychological trauma to a child, but also have irreversible negative consequences for him in a peer group. This rule should be remembered not only by parents, but also by teachers and educators.
- Unreasonable abolition of punishment … One must always show consistency and firmness: there is a decision to punish - it is necessary to carry it out. Otherwise, there is a risk of losing credibility with all the ensuing consequences. Children value justice in both reward and retribution.
In addition, you should not use the prohibitions and punishments of the child for revenge, "just in case", succumbing to your emotions and mood. The presumption of innocence must not be forgotten. It applies to everyone. It is not recommended to practice this method as the only educational one. You should always remember about the promotion.
As you can see, retribution for wrongdoing is not easy. And, besides, you need not only to punish correctly, but also to adhere to the correct line of behavior after that.
How to behave with a child during the upbringing moment
In pedagogy, there are concepts such as "the authority of power" and "the power of authority." They are closely related and play a very important role in education. Children will listen to and respect what they believe to be a leader. In their understanding, the leader must be strong.
By fairly encouraging and punishing, the adult shows his inner strength. At this moment, the authority of force acts on the child. But subsequently, there will be no need to apply it, since the adult will enjoy authority.
So that the image of a fair and strong-willed person does not disappear, it is necessary to choose the correct line of behavior after punishment.
- The punishment of the child in the family must be unanimous. That is, one parent should not override the decisions of the other.
- You cannot cancel your decision immediately, so to speak, after the announcement of the verdict. Otherwise, children simply will not believe in the seriousness of the intentions of adults. This breeds the belief that you can get away with it.
- It must be remembered that if a child was punished, then he has already answered for his offense, which means that he is forgiven. And it is no longer possible to remind of the past in a negative context. Otherwise, it will look like its complete destruction. But this is not an enemy, but a child.
So, all of the above suggests that punishment is a responsible and difficult measure, requires a balanced and competent approach. Moreover, it should only be applied if nothing else works.
How to punish a child - watch the video:
Punishment of a child in a family, kindergarten or school must be fair, timely and adequate to the offense, not contrary to the norms of public morality and law. However, before punishing, an adult is obliged to study all the subtleties of the situation and circumstances in which the offense was committed. In this case, it is necessary to take into account the age, physical and psychological characteristics of a particular child. During the punishment, there should be no humiliation of the person. As for physical punishment, this method should be used in education as an exception and only when it is impossible to manage with others.
