Fear of the wedding in all its various forms. The article will discuss how to get rid of such a pernicious phenomenon, which can spoil the mood of any newlywed. Fear of a wedding is a natural state for a woman who has decided to link her fate with her beloved. Some skeptics consider this feeling of a newlywed a baseless whim, which is not true. It is necessary to deal with this issue that every girl may face before getting married.
Causes of fear of marriage in women
Each person is individual and reacts differently to certain situations. Therefore, a woman's fear of marriage can be based on all sorts of reasons.
Some of the most common factors that contribute to this feeling before marriage include:
- Home life … Nothing destroys illusions and romantic relationships more than this circumstance from which there is no escape. The bride realizes that the candy-flower period in her life after the wedding may end. Even the most ardent fans after the wedding will begin to demand that the wife follow certain rules. If earlier the girl thought only about how to dress up for a date, now it is necessary to think about cleaning, washing and cooking. There is nothing wrong with this factor, but some brides are afraid of everyday life, which, in their opinion, is able to destroy romance in a relationship.
- A responsibility … Few people can boast that they are not afraid of such a phenomenon. A girl on the verge of a new family life often fears for her solvency as a wife. Nightclubs, parties and youth parties will no longer become her main leisure time, because marriage implies a certain responsibility.
- Future relatives … Anecdotes about the mother-in-law have already become classics of the genre among the people, because very often what is told really corresponds to reality. However, some brides see the image of their mother-in-law in nightmares, which amaze them with their realism. For every mother, her son remains a child who must be protected from insidious predators and fraudsters. On the eve of starting a family, girls understand that many of their actions will now be viewed under a magnifying glass and subjected to severe criticism.
- The possibility of treason … Love is a wonderful feeling, but betrayal in a relationship has not yet been canceled. Some brides believe that when starting a family, a man will start looking to the left. In this case, the alarmists believe that romance will be killed by everyday life, and the beloved will start looking for her on the side. Sometimes this is exactly what happens if a woman after marriage ceases to take care of herself.
- Fear of motherhood … Many women want to know this feeling, but at the same time they are afraid of the appearance of a constantly crying child in the family. They are constrained by the fact that such happiness is accompanied by certain problems and limitation of personal time. The bride understands that when the baby appears, she will have to give up many interesting activities before this. For some girls who still want to live for themselves, fear of motherhood becomes the main cause of pre-wedding fever.
- Doubts about the correct choice … Oddly enough it sounds, but even a beloved man can cause a feeling of insecurity in him on the eve of the wedding. Marriage is one of the most important decisions in a woman's life, so you shouldn't take it lightly. Love is often blind, but even a bride filled with feelings can understand that her frivolous chosen one will not change his behavior after the wedding. And what to hide, there is no guarantee that after the stamp in the passport an even better person with whom the girl could be happier will not appear on the horizon.
- Lack of mutual feeling … This is one of the saddest reasons for women's fear of marriage. Some brides understand that their chosen ones agreed to a marriage solely under the pressure of circumstances. Their girlfriend's pregnancy could play an important role in this case. On the one hand, it is worth giving credit to the fact that young people have not abandoned the responsibility of impending fatherhood. However, a family created under such circumstances is unlikely to be happy. Similar feelings are experienced by girls who were married off under family pressure. Even to this day, among Muslims, there is a widespread custom according to which couples are created by parents. Therefore, the fear on the eve of the wedding is quite understandable, because the bride knows practically nothing about her potential husband.
- Obtaining the coveted trophy … There is a type of women who love to conquer new heights in their personal life. For them, an inveterate bachelor who is ready to love all the girls in the world will be a direct challenge. At the same time, the predator will choose for itself the goal of becoming the only womanizer in the life of a womanizer, because for her it will be exclusively a sporting interest. However, a victory in the form of a marriage proposal from a Don Juan can significantly discourage a woman. She achieved what she wanted, and even managed to become attached to a windy man. The date of the wedding has been set, and the bride is in a state of fear of a future family life, which she did not plan.
- Fear of divorce … Everything is not forever in this changeable world, so the girl on the eve of the wedding begins to calculate the possible options for the proposed marriage. If you believe the statistics, then there are quite a few strong and stable families. Many young people do not pass the feeling test that real life suits them.
- Negative example … The bride can panic right before the wedding if she is aware of the sad events that are happening with her friends. A beloved friend can talk for hours about how bitterly she was disappointed in her beloved and regrets about creating a family with him. The once ideal young man turned out to be in fact a ladies' man and a loafer. Often we try on someone else's life experience, making a huge mistake in this case.
- Fear of change … Not everyone is able to calmly change the course of their everyday life. We all get used to certain things, so changing something in our everyday life can be extremely problematic. Let these changes be with a plus sign, but still, many women are frightened by the new and unidentified.
- Fear of a ruined wedding … Even such a factor can lead the bride into a panic state, which is so typical for impressionable persons. Every woman dreams that one of the happiest days in her life will be perfect. At the same time, the fair sex is very afraid of deviations from the planned plan and disruptions during the solemn ceremony.
Important! You should not dismiss the voiced factors, because they can significantly spoil the bride's mood on the eve of the most important day in her life. Pre-wedding fever is the norm, but sometimes this phenomenon is rampant.
The main signs of a panicked bride
Some people find it very easy to identify a woman in this state. However, in some cases, it is rather difficult to do this, because, as you know, someone else's soul is darkness.
Psychologists believe that it is possible to identify a bride in a panic by the following criteria:
- Unstoppable fun … A wedding is an exciting event in the life of every woman, because it allows her to enter a new stage in the development of relationships with her beloved. However, everything should be in moderation when expressing your feelings, as the famous Chanel said. Very often, the bride's constant nervous laugh indicates an elementary fear of the upcoming solemn event.
- Excessive sentimentality … If before that a woman could not stand her beloved cat, but after offering a hand and a heart she flared with love for him, this is an alarming sign. In this case, one can assume that the bride has a pre-wedding fever, which she is unable to control.
- Viewing certain movies … If before that the girl loved to spend her leisure time getting acquainted with thrillers, then the numerous viewing of the Runaway Bride melodrama by the future wife will become an alarming factor.
- Obsessive questions … Panic before wedding is very often defined by manic demands for a declaration of love. Saying nice things to each other is the norm, if everything is done within reasonable limits. Before the wedding, it is very important for a girl to feel herself most needed in the life of the chosen one, but everything is fine in moderation.
- Gamophobia … In this case, we will focus on the most difficult case of a woman's fear of a wedding. She has already initially launched the mechanism of the impossibility of happiness in family life for no apparent reason. “We will disperse anyway” is the motto of such ladies, who initially deprive themselves of the joy of a happy family life.
Note! Panic is a feeling that anyone can visit. Before the wedding, many are worried and worried, and this is quite normal and natural! However, you should carefully look at the behavior of the future newlywed, if she began to show herself differently than usual.
Methods for Dealing with Wedding Fear in Women
Before performing the sacrament of marriage, it is important to put your state of mind in order. The bride at the wedding should shine with happiness, and not be in sorrowful thoughts. In this she will be helped by the advice of psychologists on how to overcome the fear of a wedding in women.
Dealing with your wedding fear on your own
All of these methods are able to calm down the bride, who is experiencing negative emotions before the upcoming marriage. If she has already made her choice, then only she will have to be responsible for her decision.
The main ways to deal with your fear of getting married:
- Straight Talk … Very often this method will help the bride calm down. It is necessary in a confidential atmosphere to discuss all the details of the future joint life. The responsibilities of the spouses should be clearly defined in order to avoid unforeseen surprises in the future. And it doesn't matter what and with whom it was established in the family. After all, young people create their own, a new one, with their own rules and responsibilities. And in order to completely calm down, you can draw up a comic marriage contract, where you can register the item "Obligations of the parties". Such a simple document will help avoid discord and misunderstandings in the future.
- Communication with people … Marriage is not a cross on your life, so you shouldn't get hung up on pre-wedding chores. The fear of legal marriage will disappear on its own if you communicate with positive people. For example, meeting couples or simply meeting old acquaintances who have long and happy relationships. And so that life does not change too abruptly, you can take your time with children.
- Making a list … In this case, we are not talking about the list of attributes necessary for the wedding, but about the hidden desires of the bride. Having written on paper what you most want, it is easier then to realize the reach of your goals. To some, this method will seem primitive, but this is far from the truth. Thoughts written on paper not only have a better chance of being fulfilled, they will also become tangible, which will help you better understand yourself and the reason for your fears.
- Suggestion treatment … In this case, you need to stand in front of a mirror and say three magic phrases to yourself. They will look like this: I want - I can - I am worthy. No psychotherapist can help a woman with low self-esteem if she does not love herself.
- Distribution of duties … Sometimes the fear of the wedding appears due to the fact that the girl simply does not have time to prepare everything, is nervous and thinks that everything will go wrong. In this case, she should not be shy, but just need to seek help from her mother, mother-in-law, and friends.
Psychological help in coping with fear of the wedding
If the above methods of dealing with fear did not help the woman, then it is worth listening to the professional method of dealing with the resulting mental illness:
- Group auto-training … Self-hypnosis is a wonderful thing for putting your feelings in order. However, this method does not always work, because not every person owns such a technique. Under the guidance of an experienced psychotherapist, group auto-training can bring results in pre-wedding depression.
- Positive example method … In this case, psychologists can carry out this procedure to help the woman get rid of negative feelings. If self-hypnosis did not help in the fight against the fear of marriage, then the healer of souls and bodies will help create positive karma for a woman.
- Identifying psychological causes … The fear of marriage in women can really be removed by revealing the hidden reasons for its formation. Sometimes a girl does not realize what really bothers her. And the reason may be hidden in some kind of psychological trauma from childhood. For example, a girl was at a family wedding and saw something that scared her. And even though a lot of time has passed, she herself does not remember the situation, but in the subconscious the picture continues to disturb her.
How to overcome the fear of wedding - watch the video:
Fear of a wedding is not a banal panic of hysterical persons. In this case, you should figure out what prevents the girl from enjoying the full preparation for the solemn event.
