The designation of the concept of the Oedipus complex in the structure of psychoanalytics. The main symptoms of this condition and the features of its occurrence in boys and girls. The main principles of correction and advice to parents. The Oedipus complex is an absolutely unconscious sexual attraction of a child to a parent of the opposite sex. That is, a boy (girl) aged from 3 to 5 years, on average, begins to experience an attraction to his mother (father), which he himself is not aware of. Jealousy and rivalry for them to the parent of the same sex is also manifested. Most often, this term refers to boys, but in some cases it can also be observed in girls.
Description of the Oedipus complex
In fact, this is the first attachment of a baby to one of his parents, which is a manifestation of his sexuality and a desire to express it. The child, identifying himself with any gender, tries to find someone who will treat him in a special way. Most often this is a parent of the opposite sex. For example, a boy feels strong affection for his mother and is jealous of her attention to his father. The name of this complex comes from the ancient Greek myth about Oedipus. This is a man who, unknowingly, killed his father and then married his mother. Oedipus was brought up separately and did not know his real parents; by an unfortunate accident, he met his father many years later and killed him. Then, not knowing the truth, he married his mother and even had children. When he later found out the truth about what he had done, he went blind and his wife and mother hanged themselves.
Naturally, the situation with the Oedipus complex is not so sad. Sigmund Freud describes it as a stage in the normal development of boys and girls between the ages of 3 and 5 years. In addition, this complex may not manifest itself at all and cause no symptoms. The famous psychoanalyst recognizes that such behavior is a universal stage in the formation of the child's psyche at this age. By his own example, he pointed out that he was really fascinated by his mother and was jealous of his father. The term was officially introduced into psychiatry in 1910 in one of Freud's works, where he discusses the formation of preferences in men when choosing a partner. The greatest psychiatrist of all time, Sigmund Freud, based his understanding of the development of the human psyche in the theory of sexuality. According to her, the child goes through several pregenital stages before the onset of puberty. Accordingly, his psyche gradually develops. If any traumatic situations or events occur, they can affect the future of the baby. Their manifestation depends on the stage in which the child was at that age:
- Oral stage … Observed at the age of up to one and a half years. All experiences and knowledge of the external world are carried out through the mouth. During this period, according to Freud, the child tends to direct sexual energy towards himself. The baby perceives the mother's breast as the only source of pleasure for itself and does not separate it. At this stage of development of the human psyche, the makings of self-esteem are formed. If during this period the baby will receive less maternal love, affection and attention, most likely he will grow up closed in himself.
- Anal stage … Replaces oral up to 3 years of baby's life. Freud believed that at this stage of the child's development, an important habit is formed - the control of his physiological needs. Naturally, the baby is not ashamed of his actions and, having received approval from the parents to go to the potty, tries to fulfill his duties. Depending on the reaction and attitude of the mother and father regarding potty training, options for mental development can be assumed. If the child was constantly scolded, punished for not being able to endure the pot, accordingly, he will be more restrained in the future. If correct behavior is encouraged, it will be more open.
- Phallic stage … Observed at the age of 3 to 5 years. In other words, this is the stage of the Oedipus complex. During this period, children are actively interested in gender differences, raise a lot of questions about their birth. Interest is also shown in his own body, the child may begin to unconsciously periodically touch the genitals, which is by no means a sign that he is a pervert. This is an absolutely normal reaction, which allows you to recognize this world and, above all, yourself. The first attachments are also observed. The first woman for boys to be the target of channeling their sexuality is their mother. The kid grows up, realizes his gender and is drawn to the one to whom he is most attached. In addition, he may feel jealous of his father, who acts as a "rival" in a sense. The kid is afraid of losing his love for himself, perceiving it as something unique that can be given to only one person.
- Latent stage … Observed from 6 to 12 years. More precisely, before the onset of puberty. During this period, the child's sexuality is dormant and does not manifest itself. Then there is a development of understanding of one's “I”, concepts are formed, which should be adhered to, and the framework, beyond which one should not go. This is how the "Super-I" develops - a set of rules and norms of behavior dictated by others, which limit the possibilities of manifesting one's "I". That is, in comparison with the previous stages, at which the main concepts were self-interests and the satisfaction of primitive physiological needs, here a small person begins to develop, taking into account the specifics of socialization in this world.
- Genital stage … It starts from puberty to the end of life. It is manifested by an understanding of their sexual needs in communication with the opposite sex, as well as their realization. Naturally, this does not mean that with the onset of puberty, there comes a period when a person needs sex. Most often, you just need to direct your sympathy in the necessary direction, it can manifest itself even in simple communication. The desire to spend time together or the awareness of the first attachments are the steps of sexuality, which is realized.
The main signs of the Oedipus complex
The manifestations of the Oedipus complex may differ depending on the individual characteristics of the child and his parents, the way of upbringing and the degree of liberality in the family. Boys and girls who are in this period can also behave differently.
General aspects and signs
For both sexes, there are some changes in behavior, which may indicate the development of the Oedipus complex:
- Irritability … The child can behave nervously, as he is under constant psychological pressure. It is difficult for him to cope with suddenly arisen feelings, sensations, including jealousy.
- Whims … The kid may refuse to do something if the father / mother is not around. The child tries to get attention from the parent to whom such an attachment has formed in any way.
- Difficulty with goodbyes … For example, if mom or dad goes to work. It is very difficult for a child to come to terms with the fact that you need to let go of a dear person for the whole day. A sense of ownership arises, and the baby will constantly be irritated when the object of his affection is excommunicated. The Oedipus complex is characterized by the fact that it will be only one of the parents and such a symptom develops at the age of a child from 3 to 5 years.
- Refusal to communicate with peers … A common symptom may also be a child's unwillingness to play and contact their peers. The toddler prefers one parent rather than having fun with friends.
Features of the Oedipus complex in boys
For a boy, a mother from birth is the closest person who is always there. In the phallic stage of mental development according to Freud, there is a realization that the mother is also a woman. Her parental love and care is regarded as the only sympathy that arises in this period. A child who is unable to distinguish between these types of love perceives it personally as something unique and does not allow anyone to receive the same. Jealousy for the father is manifested by irritability, constant crying, as soon as he tries to take away the mother's attention from the baby, distracts her or just talks. At that time, the child perceives himself with the mother as the only whole and does not even allow the opportunity to share. The father is of the same sex and can compete for the attention of the baby's mother. That is, the little idyll that the child makes up in his head does not allow options for rivalry. The boy does not want to let anyone in close, so as not to destroy the connection with his mother, which he knows.
Features of the Oedipus complex in girls
A variant of the Oedipus complex may also be present in girls' development. Between the ages of 3 and 5, they begin to associate themselves with the female sex. They realize their similarity to their mothers, and the first affection with them gradually develops into something more. Girls copy their mother's behavior, inherit her preferences and manners. In addition, they begin to analyze her choice of life partner and their father.
In this period, the ideology of real family happiness is formed, which their dad personifies for girls. He is that sample or even prototype that the subconscious mind will preserve for life. In the future, the girl will look for her soul mate, so similar to her father. He may also be jealous of his mother.
Attention from the male sex, even if it is a dad, will always be important for a child at that age. If the father's behavior is far from ideal and the girl eventually begins to treat him at least negatively, this will affect her future. She will have difficulties in choosing a partner and will not be able to trust due to the fact that the ideal prototype of who should be around has not been correctly formulated.
Tips for parents
In the phallic period of the child's mental development, according to Freud, one should carefully consider all the symptoms that appear. Periodically arising signs of the Oedipus complex can cause negative fixation on experiences and become one of the reasons for the development of various mental disorders in the future. That is why parents need to know how to get rid of the Oedipus complex for their children:
- Confidence … First of all, you need to make sure that the child can really talk with at least one of the parents in the event that he needs it. Most children feel lonely, unable to express their feelings to their fathers and mothers. If contact is established, then getting rid of such symptoms will be much easier.
- Attention … Most often, jealousy and affection for one of the parents can arise from a lack of attention. Children make up their own story. For example, a boy thinks that his mother does not love him, as well as his father. You should not neglect the baby and try to spend more time together (three of us, if there are no other children). It is necessary to set up healthy relationships between all family members, to develop such behavior patterns that would satisfy everyone.
- Communication … If all the questions that bother the baby remain unanswered, he will be able to come up with another explanation for himself, which is not always correct. For example, if a girl does not understand why dad sometimes wants to talk to mom without giving her details, she may decide that she is not loved. On a subconscious level, the child will become jealous of his mother for the father, who is her model of the ideal man. By correctly explaining the difference between love for children and for a spouse, you can help the baby to realize his place in the complex chain of human relationships.
- Socialization … It is impossible for the baby to grow up in a closed family circle, where he can contemplate only one type of love. You should enroll him in a kindergarten, a variety of circles, where he will have the opportunity to communicate with his peers, make friends. Thus, a significant reduction in the manifestations of the Oedipus complex can be achieved.
How to get rid of the Oedipus complex - watch the video:
According to Freud, the Oedipus complex is just a temporary state of the psyche of a child who is trying to find his ideal in his immediate environment, the first attempts of a child to inherit from his parents. That is why you should not immediately panic if he is experiencing a temporary sexual attachment to one of the parents. Most often, this disappears without a trace with age. In other cases, when a trauma was inflicted in such a period, the child can fix his experiences, thereby worsening the symptoms and causing various deviations in the future.
